Some new stuff!
>> Sunday, November 22, 2009
I've decided to start posting some GMH's & IMMD's each time I post; they give me hope and make my day and it might just make yours! And, if it can make you smile, it's totally worth it.
Please remember these are NOT my stories, they are just from each respective site.
Okay! Back onto normal blogging! So, this week is Thanksgiving. I haven't made any plans to go back home, which is kind of sad, and really a huge relief! It feels weird to be away from "home," and at the same time, I'm not under a ton of "home stress." We aren't doing anything for Thanksgiving either, I don't think.
I've decided to start doing some Operation Beautiful work. I say work, but it isn't. It is so rewarding. I love to see people smile. Basically, you write a positive note, and stick it in a random public place so someone will be able to see it and read it. I made a whole post it note pad full of them. I'm going to take pics of each one if I can and post them up here. Operation Beautiful is amazing.
I'm wanting to start a story, including some of my life events, but I want it to not be set in this time period. Like, I actually want it to be vampire-y or whimsical or something, something different. And, not vampires like the sparkling one. Maybe it'll be like "If I were a guy...", a gay guy, who is goth! Alliteration anyone? (<- Did you see that?)
I finished playing the game Chrono Trigger for SNES, which always makes me cry. It's a great game. You can get it on an emulator and play it on your computer. If you like RPG's at all, this one is classic.
Anyway, it's 5.30a, and it's time for bed, after, that is, I save in Oblivion! (Off to kill necromancers!) Read more...
Part of a Story
>> Sunday, November 15, 2009
Here's the first and second part of a story I'm writing. Any comments/critisms/questions welcome; and this one I'm going to take the idea for and rearrange it into another story.
Scene 1
Setting my bottle of Tequiza on the worn wooden table, I watched the condensation drip down the cold surface, "I can't believe it's only been six years." Nate nodded as he took a sip from his Corona. "It still feels like yesterday. Tonight's still salt in an open wound." I looked down at the tattoos on my wrist, '12/27/79 - 1/6/97'. "He was only 18, I just...," I sighed, "What if it was because of me?"
"Nah, you know better. He adored you, Gage, you know that." Nate took another sip. "Life through death, Gage."
"I wish I had been a little more open," his smile flashed across my mind, "maybe I would've been with him just a little longer...," I sighed, trying to justify his end."If I hadn't tried so hard to fit in," I remembered the phone ringing, and his brother choking out words, "maybe he would've felt a little less alone."
"It wasn't about whether or not you could have made him feel better. He just didn't know how to deal with the realities of the world."
"I can still remember the first time I talked to him. It was the first time I ever second guessed myself. It was at that party in '96."
Scene 2
I set the blue plastic cup down in my best friends' kitchen, and walked back outdoors. The smell of the alcohol, bonfire, and outdoors was intoxicating. Zak walked by me with a blonde on his arm, raising his eyebrows in a what-do-you-think kind of way. I smiled. She was a pretty girl-too drunk to know what was going on-but pretty nonetheless.
As I stepped outside, I shut the sliding glass door behind me. I walked past a few dozen pretty-faced girls, there wasn't hazard of any consequences, but I was with Anastasia. I reached the back of Zak's fenced-in yard. I kept looking over girls, blonde-not my type, brunette-too fake of a tan, blonde-too ditzy, blonde-too skinny, brunette-too small, brunette-too short. I had options here and I could pick a flaw in each of them. It's not like I needed to get a girl, I had Ana. I looked back through the crowd, I just wanted a different someone else.
"All 'cookie cuttered'?"
I nodded, turning to see who just spoke my mind. Another unfamiliar face. "Who're you?"
"Styles--I'm not from around here--simply a friend of a friend," he smiled, answering my next questions. "Who're you?"
"Gage, this is my friends' house."
"Oh, so you're from around here?"
"Unfortunately."
He smiled again, "I'll be moving here in November."
"Mid semester?"
"Yeah," he hung his head momentarily, "I dropped out." His bright smile faded off his face for the first time.
"Oh."
"Yeah, I'm getting my GED soon, or whatever the equivalent is. I don't care much for public schools too much bullshit, but my parents are having me stay with my relatives. They thought maybe a different school would be better for me."
I smiled knowing what he meant. I looked over at the bonfire crackling, dusting the dark star-filled sky with a soft haze.
“Hey,” Zak yawned, approaching us. “It looks like this party is coming to an end.” I nodded. “I was thinking of doing what I did last time.”
“Again?” Zak nodded. “Zak, are you-?” His mischievous smile cut me off, he headed for the back door. “Styles, follow me.”
“What's Zak doing?” Styles asked as we made our way through the crowd to the back corner of the fence.
“POLICE!”
I jumped the fence, and waited for Styles, “That's what he's doing. Come on, let's go up to his room.” We went into the house through the side door, and upstairs. From his room, there was a lot of thudding around. Great, he left her in there. “Let's go to Heathers' room.” I went to the next door in the hallway, listened for a second before opening the door. Peering through the blinds there was barely anyone in the yard. “Good, just a few more minutes,” I said sitting down on his sisters bed. Styles sat down next to me, his hand brushing against mine. “When's the next time you'll be in town?” I moved my hand.
“I don't know. Hopefully the next party. Does Zak end every party this way?”
“Nah, not usually, just lately. Do you usually come over for parties?”
“No, this is the first one over here. It's such an obnoxious way to end a party,” Styles said distastefully.
“Yeah, it is- he likes it though, and it is his party. Since you're just a town over do you want me to let you know when the next one is?”
“Would you?” Styles asked eagerly.
“Yeah, what's your number?” I asked pulling out my cell.
“I'll put it in,” he volunteered, he handed the phone back to me in a couple seconds.
Thud, thud, thud! Styles jumped next to me, I jumped up. “Whoa.” I eyed Styles over.
Zak opened the door. “Everyone's gone.” Thud. “Well, almost everyone. Are you heading out Gage, or crashing here? And what about you?”
“This is Styles. I'll go home, Styles, you need a ride?” He nodded. “See you Monday, Zak.”
The second scene kind of really sucked. I have more written but that's for another day. I'll try to blog a little more frequently. Like I said, it's going to be majorly revamped LIke.. maybe the names will stay and this one's storyline will be the backdrop to a bigger one? I don't know yet. Read more...
Ootz. List 1.1
Another list- for my own sake, this'll be updated list 1.1!
- Obama - birth certificate, nobel peace prize & the republican vendetta
My hairSocietal and cultural impact on "normal"- Transsexuality? Orientation?
- The upcoming holidays - back home for them?
LAUNDRY DAY!- Hopeful optimistic why we are living stuff - millions of years .. ... ....../A central focus.. life?/Humans as a species; judgment, patterns,
- Healthy body weight
- Recipes
- Going to WI again?
- Rural vs. Suburban vs. Urban
- Some of my short stories.. maybe?
- psychology
- life choices at 20? / college/ classes
- music
- religion - god/higher being/body
- drivers license
- 10+ F, a thank you :]
- my mother - reality
- A glimpse into my family
Whoa.
It's been just about forever since I last posted. I'm terribly sorry I haven't, for those who enjoy reading this. I really appreciate those who comment- it takes that "this blog is for nothing" feeling away.
I'm going to try and touch down on the last.... 16? 17 days? Oh well. I knew I'd forget to wish you all for Halloween. I hope everyone's Halloween was safe and no one got bad candies. Let's see, the fourth of October, I woke up to a sharp shooting pain in my mouth, and I wiggled the tooth where the pain was coming from. That's right, I wiggled it. I called the dentist for an immediate extraction, the earliest I'd be able to get in was the next day at 4p. I went it and they x-rayed it. I cracked it all the way up the root and it would either be a $1200 root canal and crown, or a $300 extraction. While extracting it, it cracked in 3 places. It was the worst tooth ever. It failed. They gave me vicodin and motrin, as well as a super salt water rinse. The Monday after the extraction, October 9th, I had an psychological analysis for ADHD. It was from 2 until about 5.45, but they weren't expecting it to get done until 6.30p. Ahahahaha! I focused. They lose. The results would be back within 2 weeks. So, hopefully before october 23rd I'd hear back from them! The tooth didn't heal up until about three or four days ago, when, consequently, my
roommate had a realisation that his emotions and his logic weren't matching up. He realised this because lately I've been asking him "What do you feel when you're [insert emotion here]?" and he's had Mondays off of work because he, as well as the rest of the factory where he works at, got cut one day short. His were Mondays. He thinks people are watching him when he's not in the privacy of a house, waiting for him to make a mistake so they can humiliate him, but logically he knows they aren't. There are no people waiting or watching, and that it's all in his head. However, when he's out, they're there. Waiting. Watching. Lurking, and creeping.
All this paired with the holidays, and needing to vent has had me quite stressed. I tend to clench my teeth when I'm stressed- which made my bottom left, and only remaining, wisdom tooth really start hurting. Motrin doesn't touch it. Prescription motrin doesn't. Time to get that pulled, but I want to do my other tooth in the back at the same time, as it's a non-functional tooth, and all it can do is wait to get a cavity- which it already has. There's another $600. Jesse's van needs a display light bulb, as well as its' filters and fluids changed.
To put the icing on the cake, my mom has a mole that looks like melanoma on her face and is awaiting biopsy reports. I bet she's going to try and guilt me into coming to see her. Thanks mom. Oddly enough, when I heard that news I was quite relieved, which is just a sign that I need to leave her behind. I might not be able to get rid of her, but I don't need to keep her. A mother isn't always a mom, and mine sure as hell wasn't.
Also, I had the opportunity to acknowledge just how much I love my dad, how much of my childhood "hate" for him was actually hurt, and how much I needed him then. I need to get over the fear of him rejecting or abandoning me, because if he's stuck through this long to wait for me to come around, he'll stick around for me as long as he can. I need, for my sake, to tell him how much he means to me. He's a gift, really.
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